People seem to gravitate to the forums where they feel like they fit in.
The most laid back forum I am aware of is for metal casting, but they have one moderator, and he is a very smart individual, and savy about keeping things under control without appearing heavy-handed. Those guys can discuss topics all day long, and disagree about everything without the slightest problem.
Best group I have ever seen on a forum, but rare.
The forum owner has to figure out what he wants out of the forum, and what services he wants to provide others, and at what cost in time, money, management, etc.
Some forums restrict viewing of photos to members only and some are open-sourced to members and non-members.
Some forums (many these days) have gone commercial, and are chocked full of advertisements, which is a big turnoff to me. I don't visit sites with advertisements. I would never allow a link to a site with advertisements. Why should I earn money for someone else?
You can always just mention a general topic name or something like that, and a google search will generally allow others to find the intended forum link if they are really interested in finding it. I have done that on other forums before, and been accused of being sneaky and underhanded. Well it is a free country (well, at least this one is anyway).
The forum owner can always edit your post, but that sort of thing can seem a bit heavy-handed, and won't win any friends or increase membership.
Occasionally posts do get out of whack and need to be edited by a moderator to keep things from going south.
We are all human after all, and to err is human.
This forum has always been a good blend of a variety of things.
If you want a forum that has a very narrow focus, your readership/membership can be very limited, or you can fight the battle of constantly trying to keep the forum focused on a narrow topic, which is akin to herding cats.
You have forum sitters; people who apparently hang out on one or more forums all the time. I am guilty of this to some extent.
Forums can be rather addictive.
Then you have the combative/comfrontational types who can quickly turn things into a free-for-all.
I have acused others of being this way, and have been acused of being this way myself by others.
Some people read things into posts that are not intended.
You can read many posts as negative, postive, or neutral, and much of that is based on your attitude.
One think I can't stand is an oldtimer jumping on a new member and berating him.
I have confronted people over this, and this behavior can also turn a forum into a bar brawl, and discourage new people.
Many/most people I have taked to in my local region of the country when asked "Do you post on forums?" reply "Heavens no, I wouldn't dream of it, those people are hostile".
And certainly there are a number of forums out there with hostile members.
I guess if you are going to play the forum game, you need thick skin, or you need to pick a forum where you fit in.
Like my wife says when I start complaining about forums, "Why don't you go get a real life and forget about those forums?".
I ask myself the same question often, but I don't have a good answer for that one, other than perhaps I don't have much of a life outside of my hobbies, but I have no one to blame for that but myself. My mom use to say "You make your own bed, so you have to lie in it".
For obscure hobbys and interests, there are few other ways to connect with similar-minded folks in the world.
My preference is open-sourced forum everything, and without adverstisements, but survival of a forum generally depends on membership, and open-sourced forums may never build any significant membership. Sort of a catch 22 in my book.
And I prefer to be able to edit my posts any time, indefinitely, just as a common courtesy, but then you can get into a big scrap if the forum is ever sold, people will delete their material. Some forum owners have gotten weary of the effort required to operate a forum, and sold their forum, much to the dismay of the members. One can never assume that all forums will always be around, or will never be sold. You sort of have to live for the moment on forums.
I guess it all depends on what you are in it for, and what your reasons for posting on a forum are.
For me, it is a good way to get peer review and feedback about what you are doing.
Groupthink is a very powerful tool if you are open to that sort of thing.
Some folks post in a show-and-tell fashion, and sometimes that becomes a one way street.
Some people just crave attention, and post for the love of the attention, not because of a genuine interest in a hobby.
Others interact a great deal, and it becomes a win-win situation for all involved since they learn, you learn, and everyone becomes wiser in the end.
But the bottom line is, if you don't like a forum, or don't like how a forum is operated, go find another forum that you do like.
Nobody is forcing you to be on a forum (that is what I always try to keep in mind).
The good thing is there are plenty of forums out there. The downside is the commercialism found on many forums these days (in my opinion).