One day I will build a steam powered motorcycle!
Something with a boiler in front and a big wicker armchair, or maybe a small sofa, for me to sit in, it will have horizontal pistons on each side with direct drive to the rear wheel, there will be big brass handles to adjust the Stevenson link system (or whatever I choose), the smoke will pass through a pipe under the seat and into a vertical funnel at the rear, exhaust steam will be ducted into the smoke box for that authentic 'chuff chuff' sound! Steering will be by a handle that comes from behind the seat in the style of a tiller. There will be a wire basket beside the seat to be filled with pine cones and a little chute in front of me so that I can drop pine cones in as required to keep up the steam pressure.
There will be a lot of bright shiney metal, the rear wheel may be wooden spoked 'artillery' type and the front wheel will be the same.
It will have two little 'trainer wheels', retractable, that will drop to the road when I push on a pedal.
There will be a brass bell on the front and a real steam whistle activated by a pull chain hanging from an ornate bracket coming forward from the back of my seat.
The boiler will be cased in brick (imitation of course, must pay heed to the weight) and the firebox will be in the style of a Victorian caste iron fire place with a marble mantel above it. There will be a couple of clocks on the mantel showing steam pressure and a PCPM (pine cones per miles) indicator. Alongside the clocks there will be a framed picture of two old people looking very serious in their formal clothes.
The space between the fireplace and my seat will be covered in some red Arabian patterned carpet, a set of brass fire implements will be hanging on their stand to one side of the fire box opening. The will be a brown china tea pot in a red and green knitted cosy on a little table fixed to the side of my seat.
I will wear a bright red greatcoat with brass buttons and a crash hat disguised as a pith helmet with a purple pungaree, I will let my beard grow wild(er). I will wear brown riding boots, jodphurs or maybe putees. I will have a black umbrella in a brass umbrella holder in case of rain.
Oh, and it will have pointy bits on the top of the funnel to stop the seagulls resting there and crapping on my seat and there will be a stuffed horses head on the front.
