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| mosey:
--- Quote from: RossJarvis on August 24, 2013, 02:58:58 AM --- --- Quote from: dsquire on August 23, 2013, 08:10:56 PM ---Ross You and the apprentice seem to be making good progress. I also like your writing style. :clap: :clap: 706 --- End quote --- Thanks again Don. Being from where you are, you may at least understand some of the "British" humour. I'm rather hoping most people are missing some of the jokes, they'd be chasing me out of here with a big stick! :wack: --- End quote --- That's the part I'm having trouble with...British humour. Can someone tell me how to tell when the humour part begins?? (note that I got the spelling right?)(humour) Since I'll be there for some weeks, I should know when you're funning me, right? Mosey |
| RossJarvis:
“Ladies an’ Gennelmen, I’m afraid to say we’re going to have to interrupt the main feature once more, this is due to some unruly elements in the back row of the theatre, we will be sorting this out with some help from the local constabulary and appreciate your patience, Gladys will be coming round with some complimentary Gold Leafs for anyone who would care to partake, or she’ll let you have one of her poppets if you ask nicely! She’s that kind of girl. She will not be approaching the rear of the auditorium, as she says she will not be held responsible for her actions if someone else grabs her well-stacked tray. We will be playing a short public information film……” Sorry about that, but the concentration wanders. I thought I’d give a couple of handy tips I’ve picked up. I noticed there was a little bit of damp in the tool-box; So I thought I’d sort it out before I needed a sledgehammer to separate the tools. Firstly I found an old rag, this is one of my wife’s from the washing basket; she’s got loads so I’m sure she won’t miss it! Then I got some “Canadian Oil”. I call it “Canadian Oil” because it’s oil……and it comes from Canada; You can tell it’s Canadian, because the label is in French and English, plus the top 95% is very lightly populated and all the oil seems to be going to the South! I’m sure this stuff is good because when I tried to look up the instructions they said “First, get yourself a C130 Hercules, a compressor and aboot three 55-gallon drums of ACF 50…” I kid you not! Try looking it up! I then dried out the box with half of the rag (she really won’t miss it, I’m sure. I mean she’s got loads that look just like that hasn’t she?). Dried off all the contents and squirted a few drops of the oil onto the steel parts and tried to make sure every surface was well wiped over. With the block plane I made sure I dismantled it and dried and wiped all the bare surfaces with the oil. (crumbs, I’m gonna have to give that iron a quick swipe over a stone someday soon!). Apparently you don’t need to swamp everything with this, as a small amount goes a long way. The one thing to bear in mind, is if you are going to be working on anything that’s going to be glued, painted, or given a surface treatment, that you will need to clean off the oil with a solvent first. The oil can cause problems when using your tools on those things. You should now have a good oily rag, which you can use on your motorised bicycle, particularly if you leave it outside all year, like wot I do. When trying to mark in from an edge, say like using a chisel as a guide, and you haven’t got a flat surface to lay the work on, as I am here; particularly where the edge is relieved, rounded-over,mullered? I found that holding something flat, like the rule I’m using, flush to the surface/edge you’re marking up to, gives you something to rest the chisel against whilst marking your line on the opposite side. If your workbench is ventilated like mine, being made of boards with gaps on it, don’t leave your chisels lying parallel to the “ventilation gaps”. They may roll off. I find laying them across-ways with the bevel down seems to be an advantage; otherwise you may find this happens; Now then, where did I stick them sharpening stones? I think they’re on top of the freezer in the larder. I also discovered on my “workbench’ that I hadn’t driven all my fastenings fully home, into their nice countersunk or counter-bored holes; I’ve a feeling this may possibly mark the bottom (lower face) of anything I’m working on. It seems a good idea to me, to check your work surface before doing anything important on it and best not assume things’ll be all right. So I attempted to remedy this by….. “introducing, Mr Makita”; “ Dahh Da Dahh da…Mr Makita, he very tough, Mr Makita he very strong, Give him one charge and he lasts all day long…Dah da!” Unfortunately there was an issue with the pointy bit of the screw not quite wanting to go any further, ho-hum. I will admit I thoroughly recommend Mr Makita, well this one anyway. An excellent bit of kit, though you’ll have to sell your wife and apprentice to afford a new one. The only problem I've found with it is that although it has two LED "headlights", these illuminate the back of the chuck and you can't see the drill tip in the dark. However it's good for guiding you home from the pub at night if you have little or no street-lighting. I’m sure we’ll see him again “Ladies n’ Gents, please regain your seats etc……Gladys how are you? are you sure? Can I get you a brown paper bag to breathe into?” |
| RossJarvis:
--- Quote from: mosey on August 24, 2013, 10:59:56 AM --- --- Quote from: RossJarvis on August 24, 2013, 02:58:58 AM --- --- Quote from: dsquire on August 23, 2013, 08:10:56 PM --- That's the part I'm having trouble with...British humour. Can someone tell me how to tell when the humour part begins?? (note that I got the spelling right?)(humour) Since I'll be there for some weeks, I should know when you're funning me, right? Mosey --- End quote --- Ah, that's a bit tricky. I've been trying to explain this to my non-British friends for a while now. British English is a funny old language, some think it's quite precise, when in fact it isn't at all. In German, say, or other languages there may be only one or maybe two ways of saying something, such as "der Krankenwagen ist in meinem Blumentopf". In Britain we can say one thing about seven hundred different ways and often we don't mean what we've just said anyway. If a Brit says "this weather is nice isn't it" he could mean that the sun is shining and the sky is blue, or that it's a roaring typhoon. Another Brit can tell by a slight intonation of tone on one of the words, or whether an eyebrow has been raised, if you're not British I suggest you go look out the window to see which he means. Generally a Brit means what he says, or the complete opposite, so it leaves you with some guidelines. The only time you can be sure what a Brit is saying is when they ask "how are you", or "how do you do", We never mean this at all, we really don't want to know how you are feeling. If the Brit is a medical person and you are seeing them in a professional capacity then they do want to know. If you meet a medic off-duty, then they really really don't want to know! It's very difficult to explain this properly to someone from overseas, so what I suggest is; if there can be no possibility that he can be joking, then he's probably not, at all other times carry a pocket full of cards around with you, one lot says "no I'm not joking" and the other says "Yes I am joking". Give one of each to everyone you meet before any conversation and ask them to hold the correct one up when you need clarification. I can't think of any other way, apart from having a trusted British friend with you at all times to interpret. --- End quote --- --- End quote --- |
| mosey:
Aaahh, I've got it for sure now! When a Brit says anything, either he's joking or he's not. Perfect. So am I. Or not. Got it? But more importantly, I understand that there are no differences in where you are, or where he's from. Especially the midlands. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: See you soon. Mosey from Jersey (new) |
| RossJarvis:
--- Quote from: mosey on August 24, 2013, 01:12:34 PM ---Aaahh, I've got it for sure now! When a Brit says anything, either he's joking or he's not. Perfect. So am I. Or not. Got it? But more importantly, I understand that there are no differences in where you are, or where he's from. Especially the midlands. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: See you soon. Mosey from Jersey (new) --- End quote --- Mosey, you're starting to get it. (Is that New Jersey or Jawsey or Joisey? I've not quite got that one.) There are, should we say, some subtle differences between the different parts of the UK, or UKoGBaNI as it is correctly known. Remember, over here 100 miles is a very long way, over there I believe 100 years to be a long time. I was chatting to some friends of mine from the Great Republic of Texas a while back, discussing Orkney, which is a group of Islands just off the top of the country. I mentioned to them that it was a part of Norway until quite recently. They said, oh yes, when was that? Oh about 1460 or so said I. They looked at each other slightly bemused for some reason. It's easier to tell if someone is joking or not if you know where they're from. If they are from London and their mouth is open and there is noise coming out (which is about 99% of the time). They are joking. If they are from the North West of Scotland and their mouth is open and noise is coming out (which is about 1% of the time), they are definitely not joking. If they are from Newcastle or Gateshead and their mouth is open with noise coming out, you'd have to ask a Norwegian whether they are joking or not. If they come from Dundee and their mouth is open with noise coming out, no-one knows whether they are joking or not, even if the other person is from Dundee. If they are from the Midlands and their mouth is open with noise coming out, I couldn't tell you what was happening. I think they've been playing a joke on the rest of us for some time now! If they come from Yorkshire it doesn't matter whether they are joking or not, you will still have to pay for the beer. If they come from Liverpool, you'll have to record what they're saying and play it back at quarter speed to find out if they're joking. And if they come from Barnsley and their mouth is open with noise coming out, only William Shakespeare or Queen Elizabeth the first could tell you if they are joking or not! Hopefully you've got that and you'll be funning like a native when you get here. Just don't tell a Welshman he's English, or a Scotchman, an Irishman or someone from Cornwall for that matter. I wouldn't confuse an Orcadian with a Scot either, but that's all another story. And finally, don't call us Europeans. Some of us love Europe, some of us hate it, but when we leave these miserable wet islands of ours we go TO Europe and then we come HOME when we come back! |
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